Sitting here....

Sitting here, drinking a cup of café mocha, staring out the window. Too many thoughts in my head to focus. Too much anxiety swirling around to relax. I guess optimism can only get you so far. There should be no problem. I’m feeling good, work is going well; I’ve gotten together and/or talked on the phone with friends old and new. October is here, sunny and mild with bright blue skies and gentle breezes. And still I feel unease deep, deep inside.

It’s annoying to be honest. I want to forget the past and go forward, embracing all the good to come. And yet….

Wordless Wednesday

They come in threes...

This beautiful bird, well not THIS one, but one like it, crashed into our patio doors on Saturday. Don't ask me why - I don't even wash my windows....

I guess it was a combination of the time of day and light reflection on the glass. Otherwise, what was this Cedar Waxwing trying to do? I mean, if there is no reflection it should clearly see a wall beyond that glass.I felt horrible tho. It probably broke it's neck and it lay there injured and shaking. I had to go get my husband to take care of it.

And then, today I look out my window at school and there is an injured squirrel. I don't know what was wrong. Maybe it fell out of a tree? At first I thought it was dead, as did another squirrel who gingerly walked up to it. It took off, made it to the base of the tree and rested against it vertically for about five minutes. Then it took off for about 5 yards and took another rest break. It was all over the place for about an hour doing this. Sometimes at the base of a tree, sometimes in the open grass. It would lay absolutely still and rest while the breeze ruffled it's furry tail. I don't know what happened to him, or if he survived. Maybe he was just old?

So what will the third animal be? I'm almost afraid to drive home for fear I'll hit something....

Crowning Achievement..

I have been having issues with a tooth for months. 8 months. But due to medical issues I have been unable to go to the dentist. So it was with fear and trepidation I went to the dentist today. I fully expected them to tell me I needed a crown. The dental assistant took x-rays determined it was gonna be a close call, I might need a root canal! That did not make me happy....

The dentist came in and did his thing and finally determined that I was lucky, the decay had NOT reached the nerve and a crown is all I need. Whew. So now I have a temporary crown for two weeks until I get the permanent one.

The worst part of the whole thing is this allergy/sinus thing I've got going on. Ever try to go to the dentist when you can't breathe through your nose?

pass the tissues....

Oh no! It appears I'm getting sick. Dunno if it's allergies or sinus, but it's not fun. I should have known on Saturday when my ears started feeling like there was water in them. The last thing I want to do is take more and more medication. But right now I am downright miserable. :(

And tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. More fun.
But necessary. Due to ongoing medical issues I had to put it off for 8 months. Now I'm going. Hell or High water; blocked nose or sore throat.

We had frost this morning! Hopefully it will kill the allergens, but not the tomatoes. I am not ready for my tomatoes to go away. I'm ready for some good old fashioned fall however, warm and breezy, with that late afternoon patina when the sun is hitting the earth just right.

I'm ready for casseroles and soup, sweaters and and naps in the sun. Hot chocolate, hot cider, apple picking and pumpkins. Blue skies, bright leaves and football! Quilts on the bed and snuggling with the dog.

I love fall!

If you have nothing good to say....

Oh my, it's been a long week. Loooooooooong. It's been such a long, aggravating week I have nothing good to say. Let's just say I have bus tracks on my back....
So today I think I shall treat myself to a night out. Dinner at a Greek restaurant and a movie. The Master. And to get myself back on track I'll list three good things about the week....

• Revolution started
• MAP (measures of academic progress ... http://www.nwea.org/products-services/computer-based-adaptive-assessments/map) went smoothly on day one.
• Carissa called me just to talk. :)

Oh, wait, I thought of a fourth one! AUTUMN is here!

Wordless Wednesday...

Sunshine on My Shoulders...

It is absolutely gorgeous outside today!
See you later!

Sweet Home Chicago....

I love history. Especially of places and buildings. If only buildings could talk!! I also love Chicago. So, so much. And so, here and there I have begun to accumulate pictures of Chicago and it's history. I can't seem to get enough. I just want to teleport back in time and visit these places and events and buildings. I'm sad for the buildings that are gone - why can't we, like our European friends, realize the importance and beauty of the old and quit knocking things down just to build the next best and greatest thing?
I guess you could say I'm a little obsessed with this beautiful city. I have over 1000 pictures and that doesn't even include the specialty folders. I love the old stores, old restaurants and the old amusements. The Colombian Exposition, Riverview, the old theaters. What I will ever do with these pictures, I don't know. But it's a joy just to look at them. The neighborhoods are fascinating, the stories of the immigrants amazing. Good, bad, ugly and everything in between. The story behind each building, yes, even the projects, brings more understanding and clarity to why things evolved as they did. The disasters - fires, floods and tragedy on the lake - all point towards how those events influenced laws and codes for the better. I am grateful to Burnham and Ward for their foresight in planning and insisting on an open lakefront, green space and logical street patterns. Did I mention how much I love Chicago?

Here are a few pictures from the past:

1929 Grant Park and Buckingham Fountain

1941 Southside - Long Gone

Ever wonder what Wrigley Field was before it was a ball park? This is a shot looking west from what is now Sheffield Ave.

Famous Chicago Bungalows

Field Museum 1907

Animal Court at the Jane Adam's Homes

Animal Court at the Jane Adam's Homes

Animal Court at the Jane Adam's Homes, then and....

Animal Court now

Late 40's and Early 50's post war housing

1893 Colombian Exposition

1905 Lake Shore Drive at Lincoln Park

1928 Construction of Wacker Drive

1947 Stockyards

Skyline 1960. Taken from the Prudential Building

Lincoln Park Zoo 1901

Lincoln Park Zoo

Pullman Rowhouses 1969

Sheridan Road, Devon and Broadway 1938

Oak Street Beach July 4, 1936

Ride the "L" 1937

Molehills, not Mountains....

When it rains, it pours. My daughter's good friend Ryan sustained a bad break to his leg in a soccer game yesterday and has to have surgery. He is in the hospital.
My other daughter has a sinus infection. And is trying hard to find a job. She goes off our insurance in a month.
My son is running a fever and is not feeling so good. He's looking for a job too.
People are not playing nicely at work.  I think they have forgotten the things they learned in kindergarten.
And now, it's raining.
Just a bump in the road, a blip on the radar, molehills, not mountains.
Guess what, this too shall pass and be but a memory soon.
That's the way life is. I have had to retrain my thinking so I only stress about the big stuff, and right now, it's all small stuff.

So, today, I choose to be thankful that it's not big stuff.
I choose to be thankful I have a job, even with the bullies.
I choose to be thankful for colds and sinus infections because it could be worse.
I choose to be thankful my kids aren't working right now because they could do the grocery shopping today.
I choose to be thankful for my children's friends, those in need and those who help my kids then they are in need.
I choose to be thankful that my daughter still has insurance for another month.
And I choose to be thankful for the rain because we sorely need it.
I choose to be thankful.

The Grass is Always Greener...

Today was supposed to be Wordless Wednesday, but I thought of something to say....

A few months ago I was sitting at home, bored out of my mind. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even read due to issues with my eyes. TV was my only companion for months. I would sleep late, get up, watch tv, nap, watch tv, eat dinner, watch tv and go to bed early. I was going crazy. Part of the time I was not feeling well, so the sleep was welcome, but it was a tough time.

Now I am back to work. Up early. Out the door. Running, running, running. The beginning of the school year is always chaotic for tech. So much to do to get us up and running. I have no time to breath. No time to even go to the bathroom. I go home exhausted and cranky. Some nights it’s a struggle to make dinner, so I give in and we buy Chipotle or Subway.

When I was on the couch I longed for activity, stimulation. Now when I am back to work I long for the couch. Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful I have been able to return to work and I am doing well. But gee whiz, I’d sure like a nap!

The grass is always greener!

A Girl Can Dream....

Oh, how I wish I were here today.....

or here...

  or here....

 or here...

or here...

or even here...

but instead, I am here.

Happy Tuesday!

I have more books than Friends...

I'm an introvert by nature and that makes it very difficult to make and maintain friendships. In a crowd or a party I lose my way and tend to sit on a chair in a corner and observe. And even that sucks the life out of me! And when I'm fortunate enough to have friends, I find it hard to want to go out and do things...I'd much rather be sitting on my couch reading a good book. Even a one-on-one lunch can be stressful.
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I'm thankful for each and every one. But I'm always happy to return home and let my hair down (or take it off as the case seems to be these days!)
I've read all the articles on how difficult it is to make new good friends after the age of thirty. Hmm...so after fifty it must be impossible, right? The problem is, all my good friends seem to move away. And then here I am again with acquaintances and friends of necessity. Don't get me wrong, that's not all bad either!
The thing is, this past year I have realized the importance of friends. Of all varieties. Childhood, teenage, college, young parents, Internet, work... and they are all important and I am thankful for every one.
All of you, and you know who you are, have seen me through some rough times recently. And I couldn't have done it without you! To be honest, I did have to let some friends go. The negative, the catty, the pessimistic, the lookie lou's, the drama lovers.
And I think I ended up with a great group of people I love dearly even if I don't always show it, or if I seem to ignore you to go home at the end of a long day. You all hold a very special place in my life and I am beyond thankful for you.  
I do miss my friend that moved. The one I could talk to about anything. That I would meet on the spur of the moment, or better yet, the one I could tell I don't feel like playing today.
But I have realized I really do need you all. To surround me, support me, help me, but beyond that just to be there for the heck of it. I have realized how important all you "older" friends are and I'm trying to reach out and touch base and let you know that. I know it's been way too long since we've gotten together, and I know I often resist when I shouldn't, so I'm making the effort to reconnect and catch up. Time goes too fast. Don't let it get away and then be filled with regrets. 
Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Cat's in the Cradle.

Cat's in the Cradle

Wow.

It's been forever since I've blogged. But I've gotten the itch.

My old blog was so out of date. But I still liked it. I had to decide, did I want to start over, or just update the old one? A lot has changed at blogger! I finally decided just to start over in a totally new space. 

Things have changed dramatically in my life too....so I suppose I should update that as well. Stay tuned.

Time goes by so fast, and if we aren't careful, well, we miss opportunities, we lose track of those we love and we sadly entertain "if I had only...'s."

So, here I am, and here you are, and off we go in our new adventure!

"I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time"