Sunday, September 9, 2012

I have more books than Friends...

I'm an introvert by nature and that makes it very difficult to make and maintain friendships. In a crowd or a party I lose my way and tend to sit on a chair in a corner and observe. And even that sucks the life out of me! And when I'm fortunate enough to have friends, I find it hard to want to go out and do things...I'd much rather be sitting on my couch reading a good book. Even a one-on-one lunch can be stressful.
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I'm thankful for each and every one. But I'm always happy to return home and let my hair down (or take it off as the case seems to be these days!)
I've read all the articles on how difficult it is to make new good friends after the age of thirty. after fifty it must be impossible, right? The problem is, all my good friends seem to move away. And then here I am again with acquaintances and friends of necessity. Don't get me wrong, that's not all bad either!
The thing is, this past year I have realized the importance of friends. Of all varieties. Childhood, teenage, college, young parents, Internet, work... and they are all important and I am thankful for every one.
All of you, and you know who you are, have seen me through some rough times recently. And I couldn't have done it without you! To be honest, I did have to let some friends go. The negative, the catty, the pessimistic, the lookie lou's, the drama lovers.
And I think I ended up with a great group of people I love dearly even if I don't always show it, or if I seem to ignore you to go home at the end of a long day. You all hold a very special place in my life and I am beyond thankful for you.  
I do miss my friend that moved. The one I could talk to about anything. That I would meet on the spur of the moment, or better yet, the one I could tell I don't feel like playing today.
But I have realized I really do need you all. To surround me, support me, help me, but beyond that just to be there for the heck of it. I have realized how important all you "older" friends are and I'm trying to reach out and touch base and let you know that. I know it's been way too long since we've gotten together, and I know I often resist when I shouldn't, so I'm making the effort to reconnect and catch up. Time goes too fast. Don't let it get away and then be filled with regrets. 
Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Cat's in the Cradle.

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